Life and Mind

ask and i will answer   Submit   This is the Life and mind of me, Caitlyn Rickey born on the fifth of May in 94. i love music and writing. this is just a blog of my likes and interests, hope you enjoy and follow. also i have an instagram user :cnrickey be happy to see you there as well. i enjoy comments and asks, so feel free to tell me what you think.

Co worker date

Ok so my date: I feel so bad because he’s super nice and funny and really kind. But there’s no chemistry which is weird because we flirt at work all the time. Also he still really likes me and I don’t know how to tell him that im not interested without hurting his feelings. Again its nothing he did wrong, I just don’t feel a connection with him. I have never been in this situation and I just don’t know what to do. He asked me out  coffee but I was but I am at work  so I couldn’t u tell him then. And he asked via txt and I think that’s  a shitty way to tell him. But it might be worst at work. Gaaaaah I just don’t know what to do

— 2 days ago
#punk  #goth  #date  #awkaward  #firstdate  #question  #help 
lllnomadlll:

Misfits-Wallpainting
For more of my art visit me here:
Website | Shop | Facebook | Instagram | Pinterest

lllnomadlll:

Misfits-Wallpainting

For more of my art visit me here:

Website | Shop Facebook | Instagram | Pinterest

— 6 days ago with 10186 notes
#punk  #gothic  #hot  #sexy  #style 
THE STRUGGLE WITH BPD

Borderline personality Disorder (BPD) Is similar to Bi polar disorder. But its more towards self then anything else. I will provide a think of all the symptoms so you can fully understand it. This is what I have, and it is very difficult to live with, without any help (fuck you medi-cal) essentially, I’m crazy. The impulsive and social part I can defiantly work on by myself though it has been very difficult so far. What really gets me that I CANT do anything about would be the crippling depression that makes facing every day a challenge, the emptiness  nawing  at my insides, making it that much harder  to resist the urge to pick up my razor and drag it across my skin. I am slipping into old habits. I have no one in my life that is there for me. I am alone and depressed , resulting into me cutting again. Its never been this bad before, suicide is a much more prominent thought more so now then ever before. Not only do I caught I am obsessed with blood ad scars (always have been that way) so I love and hate the scars that marr my legs. I don’t know what to do,or even whereto turn. I am Just going crazy and I just don’t know what to do anymore

http://psychcentral.com/disorders/borderline-personality-disorder-symptoms/ 

— 6 days ago
#bpd  #borderline personality disorder  #cutting  #self harm  #suicide  #depession  #punk  #goth  #pain  #struggle 
suicidal-kittty:

“I’m not the same as I use to be, there’s nothing but pain left here I know.” | via Tumblr - https://weheartit.com/entry/136496309/via/13270141

suicidal-kittty:

“I’m not the same as I use to be, there’s nothing but pain left here I know.” | via Tumblr - https://weheartit.com/entry/136496309/via/13270141

— 1 week ago with 469 notes
#fuck  #flipoff  #goth  #pumk  #hot 
lllnomadlll:

Raven Shirt II
Designed by Christian Klute
Get your own shirt here for only 16,66 € + 6€ fast, worldwide(!) shipping
For more of my art visit me on:
Website | Shop | Facebook | Instagram | Pinterest
Model: The lovely Triz Täss
Photo: Fledermausland Photoaction

lllnomadlll:

Raven Shirt II

Designed by Christian Klute

Get your own shirt here for only 16,66 € + 6€ fast, worldwide(!) shipping

For more of my art visit me on:

Website | ShopFacebook | Instagram | Pinterest

Model: The lovely Triz Täss

Photo: Fledermausland Photoaction

— 1 week ago with 2786 notes
#sexy  #punk  #goth  #hot  #fasion  #gorgeous  #beauty 
DUMB BITCHES

Alright so I realize I didn’t clarify on the backstabbing ‘bitch thing. So I will make this kind of quick because I did just get off one job and I start my other job in a little bit. At said second job, I met a girl. She is a fellow smoker and we took breaks together and smoked. I realized what kind of person she was when I first met her so I kept things distant. But one day she was really upset and crying because these guys were harassing her via phone. They kept calling and calling leaving upsetting voicemails. On the same day she told me she found out she has herpes. So I planned a day to get things off her mind, pizza and vodka <3.so we had a nice time and started hanging out more. She started treating me badly (insecurity issues) and kept putting me down a lot. I was about to drop her as a friend, but then she called me really upset because she relapsed on meth and gambled $300 away. I stayed with her till 3am so she would be ok. Then a month fucking later, a guy she’s NOT interested in that IS interested in her, hit on me. God forbid this guy she doesn’t even like hits on someone else. After that She started hitting on the guy iv been crushing on for the longest time (that she openly said rude things about him to me) and she keeps coming to me saying “omg I think he likes me” .He doesn’t. its that fucking simple, he likes me, were going on a date soon. Dumb bitch. Anyways in addition to that bullshit she also is putting me down  A LOT .like saying she’s thinner (she fat so that’s a laugh) and things to that effect. Trying to look better then me. She isn’t ugly, but she’s short, fat, and mean. I am prettier skinnier taller, and have bigger tits then her. And I really think its bullshit that ,that would effect a relationship. Goes to show you that true friends are hard to find

— 1 week ago
#dumb bitches  #friendship  #liars  #insecurities  #jealous  #coworkers  #bitch  #bitches  #meth 
My non existent love life
  1. So I now have time  to write actual details. I dumped max, he is too immature and treated me poorly. I means he is a nice guy and all, but he just fucked up a lot and I cant deal with it anymore. We Are still friends so I’m happy that we at least didn’t throw everything away.Now theres a guy at work that’s 9 years older then me that I’ve liked for a while and finally got the courage to half ask me out. I don’t know what he iswaiting for, because im VERY receptive. And more crushes I have accumulated, this frequent customer that’s in this really cool band and hes probably like 15 years older. We flirt all the time. He even gave me a cd of his music. I really hope he asks me out. Because im not 100% sure about either one. So I want to get to know them before I get serious (aka fuck). Also my new job at gap inc has this uber hottie trainer that is really nerdy and kinda hilarious. I’m defiantly crushing on him real bad. I really am getting sick of that though. Because do you know how hard it is to  focus on learning when your imagining fucking the teacher. Yeah,its bad. Im so ridiculously horny right now its not even funny.im hoping that I can find a real relationship so sex is going to have to wait (for now at least) so yeah, that’s apart of my recent life , il write more later…but omg I feel like such a crush slut…anyways yeah so my breaks up im gonna skidaddle and work at mcds (hellhole)
— 1 week ago
#punk  #feelings  #love life  #guys  #boys  #relationship 

Life is too crazy to be clever or detailed right now. Working two full time job . single. Fighting a loosing battle of depression. Having to deal with back stabbing friends and in it for sex guys (didn’t give it up dont worry). and currently stuck in between two very awesome guys that are 10 years my senior. Dealing with my best guy friend hitting on me again (long story there) and trying to not be afraid that once s guy sees me naked and sees my scars he will think im damaged goods and move on. Adding severe sleep deprivation to the mix means im sad angry hurt exhausted and completely insane. Fucking hate my life right now

— 2 weeks ago
Pierced my hips myself

Pierced my hips myself

— 1 month ago with 1 note

Why does loving someone so much hurt this badly

— 1 month ago

So. ..clearly me and max are the weirdest fucking people in existence but we had this hilarious fight for 20 mins. Keep in mind were laughing the whole time yet both perfectly serious. I kind of just fiddle with my nipple ring out of bordum but now its a habit and it bugs me if I dont. But to max is so enragingly distracted that it gives him a headache. He can’t explain why it bugs him much and I can’t explain my need to. So we are just going back and forth trying to make the other one listen. …fun times

— 1 month ago